


Summer Camp of Doom

by HazelMaeve



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: But my passion for it is strong, F/M, I'm too old for this show, M/M, ZAGR - Freeform, ZaDr, kill me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-26 23:37:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14412930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazelMaeve/pseuds/HazelMaeve
Summary: The junior and senior classes of Mountain View High School are sent to camp for the summer. Zim and Dib will battle each other in addition to the heat, their classmates, and their own raging hormones. But Zim is harboring a secret-- a secret that, should Dib ever find out, may lead to his own demise.Mild ZADR and ZAGR. Also on FF.net. WIP.





	1. One Hectic Day

He had gone along for his sister’s sake. 

Mountain View High School had a rather infamous tradition of squeezing the junior and senior health classes into two busses and relocating them to the mountains for… Well, some students said it was for torture. Others said it was to weed out the weak. And some insisted it was to select tributes for the Hunger Games. Only the seniors could say for sure what went on for those four days in the wilderness, having experienced it for themselves as juniors, but they certainly weren’t spoiling it. Watching the juniors have panic attacks on the bus ride there was a privilege they were not quite ready to relinquish. 

Dib, of course, had told his sister that she didn’t need to worry, that he would be right there with her, and he’d keep her safe.

“Safe from what?” Gaz had snapped, glaring at him over the top of her controller as she played  _ Outlast II _ the morning before they were to depart. “From bears? Wolves? Dib, if we run into either of those things, I’m feeding you to them.”

Dib did not doubt this. But he was determined to come along anyway. Technically, he was 18, and so he had no need for his father to sign the waiver that would allow him not to attend. Gaz, however, was 17, and with their father halfway across the country, had no choice but to participate in the retreat or receive an F for the semester. 

It was not just concern for Gaz’s safety that had Dib tagging along, however. Zim, in all his brilliance, had made the mistake of telling their teacher that he was only 17, a lie that Dib knew Zim would come to regret when the alien realized he would need a parent’s permission to opt out of the field trip. Zim, of course, had no parents. So he was forced to board the bus along with the rest of the seniors and be carted off to the mountains, the bus of juniors following behind.

They arrived at Mt. Hood national forest in the late morning, where they stopped at a ranger station for lunch. Students poured out of the busses, eager to stretch their legs, only to be shunted back onto the bus after a measly 20 minutes and whisked away to the lodge.

‘Lodge’, of course, was a word the teachers used to trick students into thinking they were going to some grand mountain retreat with a swimming pool and room service. Dib knew that by ‘lodge’, they actually meant ‘a cluster of small cabins in various states of disrepair and one dingy outhouse next to the mess hall’.

He chose not to share this information with Gaz, for he knew she would make a break for it if she were aware of what camp would really be like. It did not take her long to realize it was a trick, however, for as soon as she stepped off the bus and took in the sight of the small, cramped cabins beside the lake, she turned to her brother with murderous eyes.

“This is not a lodge.” She hissed, her upper lip twitching. 

“Hey, Mr. Bigby used that word, not me.” Dib said.

Poor Mr. Bigby was the eleventh grade science teacher. Dib had had him the year before, and had always pitied the man. He always had a nervous, grave expression on his face that gave the impression the teacher was worried he had left the oven on. He seemed rather afraid of his students, and had a difficult time controlling them in class. Dib had been his quiet ally, telling the other students to listen and be respectful when he could, which didn’t exactly score him any popularity points. He was still a negative three on the popularity scale, with Gaz trailing behind at negative two and Zim at negative one. 

Zim disembarked the bus, looked around him with in disdain, then turned around and stepped right back inside. He was grabbed by Mrs. Sturgess, the senior history teacher, who dragged him back to the ground. Zim had no choice but to line up with the other students for roll call; Dib watched him, his eyes narrowed. Despite six years having passed since the alien came to Earth, Dib’s distrust of him had not wavered for a moment. He knew Zim was not stupid, and could easily turn their city into a crater if he so pleased, and so Dib was determined to watch his every move.

“Zim… Uh, Zimmerman?” The student counselor called out, his eyes scanning the crowd of students. Zim raised a gloved hand, his expression bored.

“Here, unfortunately.” He said, which earned him a small laugh from the crowd around him. Something had changed when he had entered high school; suddenly Zim found himself with a group of students who actually enjoyed and appreciated his company, students who thought he was funny. Dib, however, had been kicked out of the Paranormal Investigative School Society (P.I.S.S.) and found himself once more with no friends. If anything, this intensified his hatred for Zim, who could win over the other rejects of the school with his crooked grin and over-the-top personality, whereas Dib was lucky enough just to sit with his own sister at lunch. 

“Right, thank you, Zim.” The counselor said irritably, continuing down the list in reverse alphabetical order. When he reached the M’s, Dib and Gaz were checked off, and when the last student had been called the students were shown to their cabins for a half hour of free time.

The boys and girls cabins were separate, naturally, and so Dib and Gaz were split up as they were led to their respective cabins. The students were split into groups based on questionnaires they had filled out on the bus, and Dib was not surprised to see that Zim was one of the five boys he shared a cabin with. The other four boys, Dib noticed, were the quiet, taciturn boys that always sat together at lunch, and were known around the school as the Emo Fags, not to be confused with the Math Fags, or the Faggy Fags. Once or twice Dib had wondered if they boys were actually gay, or if it was just a cruel name assigned to them by the more popular crowd. 

The inside of the cabin was small, with three bunk beds pushed into three of the corners and an ancient, rickety shelf in the fourth. It smelled like dust and rotting wood. The blankets were stiff wool and the pillows were stuffed with feathers-- not goose down, but actual feathers-- Dib could feel the stiff quills through the pillow case. He couldn’t imagine it would be comfortable to sleep on.

“Four days,” One of the Emo Fags, called Joseph, said dismally. “Four days living in a cabin the size of a shoe box.”

“I’d rather sleep outside.” Said another, named Michael, as he pushed his suitcase beneath his bunk and slipped off his shoes, his long sweep of black hair swinging down to hide his eyes. “Maybe we’d get lucky and a bear would come and eat us.”

“It’s not so bad,” Dib said, hoping to gain some favor with the group he rarely spoke to. “Remember last year, there were too many students, and so some of us had to sleep on the mess hall floor.”

“What is the budget for this field trip, ten dollars?” Said the Emo Fag with long blonde hair, whose name Dib thought was Otto. 

“That’s the budget for this entire school year.” Said Lilith, the last Emo Fag, and the only one Dib was quite sure was actually gay. Lilith had long brown hair and had been suspended more than once for coming to school in girls’ clothing, a punishment Dib thought was rather too harsh for something so harmless. “Our science textbooks are so old Charles Darwin probably wrote them himself.”

Zim, who had remained silent for the last several minutes, finally spoke. “Yeah, sure. Anyway, who’s sharing bunks with who?”

There was a pause, and then Lilith grabbed Otto, and Michael grabbed Joseph, and the four boys stared obstinately in Dib and Zim’s direction. 

“Looks like you two get the last bunk.” Otto said, pointing to the bunk bed closest to the door. “Try not to kill each other.”

Dib and Zim exchanged dark looks and turned to face the remaining bed. “I get the bottom bunk.” Dib muttered. “I’d better not look up and see you watching me or something tonight.”

“Fine,” Zim said, his eyes narrow. “I never let my enemies have the higher ground, anyway.”

“Freak.”

“Jerk.”

“Alien scum!”

* * *

 

After lunch was an hour of mandatory activities that were supposedly for character building, but really just left everyone, students and teachers alike, angry and perspiring. They set off around noon for the lake, where a row of canoes were lined up on the beach.

“Today, the eleventh graders will be having a team-based competition.” Said the camp counselor, a pretty woman with long red hair and blue eyes. Dib noticed several of the male students eying her with interest. The woman pointed out to the center of the lake, where a floating platform was anchored. On the platform was five flags of different colors. “You see that dock out there? The juniors will split up into groups of four. Each group will get into a canoe, and race to the dock. After you retrieve the flag, you’ll bring it back here and grab your team’s baton--” She pointed to the batons sticking up in the sand. “--and take it back to the floating dock. Then, the first team to make it back to the shore gets to eat dinner tonight.”

There was a stunned silence, and then the camp counselor smiled. “I’m just kidding. Really, the first team to make it back gets donuts afterward. The cream-filled kind. Don’t wanna miss that, do we?”

“Excuse me?” Said a student from Dib’s class, Peter Schoger. “What will the seniors be doing?”

“Excellent question. Since all you seniors did this competition last year, this year you get a special surprise.” The counselor used her smile again, and Dib was sure many of the boys were captivated by her. “The seniors will be going paddle boarding. I know, I know, juniors. You’ll get to do it next year.”

Dib perked up quite a bit at that. He had always wanted to try paddle boarding, although he doubted he could remain standing. A sudden thought occurred to him, and he turned around to glance at Zim; the alien had a bemused expression on his face, and when he caught Dib looking at him, he threaded through the crowd of students to Dib’s side.

“What is paddle-boarding?” He whispered. Dib snorted.

“It’s a water sport, Zim. You don’t care for water, do you?”

Zim shrugged, seemingly unconcerned. “I found a way around that problem.”

“Can you even swim?” Said Dib.

“Can you?”

There was an uncomfortable pause, during which Dib looked anywhere but Zim. “Well, no, but--”

Zim sneered and turned away, marching to the front of the group where the camp counselor stood, who turned and began to lead the seniors along to beach, to a storage shed at the base of the dock. 

“Everybody line up and take a lifejacket, a board and a paddle.” The counselor said, heaving open the heavy sliding door. “Once you’ve got them, go down to the end of the dock and wait.”

Dib did as he was told, collecting his gear and heading to the end of the dock. The water was still shallow here; he could see grass on the sandy bottom, waving slightly in the current. He wondered how deep the lake was. Around it, mountains rose up in great rocky towers, dotted with pine trees and grassy slopes. 

Behind him, Zim carried his paddleboard upside-down over his head, his paddle balanced precariously on top. Dib noticed he wore no life jacket; evidently, the counselor noticed this too, and she turned away from the storage shed and approached the boys, frowning.

“Zimmerman. Why don’t you have a life jacket? Take off your backpack and put one on.” She said. Dib watched Zim stiffen, and a devious smile slid across his face.  _ Got you now, alien. _

Zim turned and glared over his shoulder, lowering his board and putting on his most defiant expression. “I can’t take this backpack off.” He said, gesturing to his PAK, the machine Dib knew kept the alien alive. “It’s, um… It’s an oxygen tank. I need it because I have COPD.”

Dib was impressed that Zim even knew what COPD was. He turned to the counselor to see what she made of this information.

“I see,” She said, although her voice was tinged with suspicion. “Well, can you get it wet?” When Zim nodded, the counselor seemed satisfied. “Good. Put a life jacket over it. You can’t go out on a lake without one.”

“Like that’s a big disappointment.” Zim muttered, slipping on a bright orange life jacket that stood out in stark contrast with his green skin. 

Dib snickered. “That’s a good look for you.” He said. “You can go ahead and drop the facade, clearly no one is fooled.”

“I would say she was pretty easily fooled. Most humans are.” Zim lifted his chin in an expression of disdain. “Humans only see what they want to see. From their childhood, they are programmed to believe certain things and reject others. A boy with a skin condition and COPD? They can believe that. An alien?” Now it was Zim’s turn to laugh. “After all these years, you’re the only one who wasn’t fooled.”

Dib sneered. “Right, because your missing ears and nose and fingers are part of your  _ skin condition. _ And I’m not the only one who knows. Gaz knows, too, even before I told her.”

Zim paused, then turned to regard Dib with narrowed eyes. “Gaz-human… knows? She saw through my disguise?”

Dib didn’t answer, for the rest of the students were gathering at the end of the dock, and for once Dib didn’t want them to hear. 

“Okay, everyone!” The counselor said, clapping her hands for attention. “Boards in the water. I’ll show you how to kneel on them.”

Everyone stared as the woman pulled off her tank top and slipped out of her shorts, revealing a red one-piece swimming suit that hugged closely to her curves. 

“Holy hell.” Dib breathed, barely listening as the counselor knelt down on her board, her feet tucked beneath her, and used her paddle to push away from the dock. 

“Everybody, follow my lead!” She called, grinning at the wide-eyed group. Suddenly all of the students were eager to get out on the water, although Dib suspected they just wanted to be as close to the counselor as possible for the best view. 

Dib carefully knelt on his board, feeling it rock slightly in the water, and pushed off from the dock. It was not difficult to control the board, he was pleased to note, and it didn’t seem likely to tip him into the water. However, as he paddled into deeper water and watched the bottom of the lake drop out beneath him, his stomach seemed to sink with it. He wasn’t particularly fond of deep water, or swimming. He turned to glance over his shoulder; Zim was paddling along with a serene expression, his arms strong for their task. Dib wondered if spending time in the depths of outer space took away one’s fears of the unknown. Certainly paddle boarding had to be easier than flying a spaceship. 

“Okay,” The counselor called to the group behind her. “We meet back at the dock in an hour. You can go out to the island in the center of the lake, or you can go to the beach on the opposite shore. If you do decide to leave the water, don’t go deep into the forest. You’d make a great appetizer for a mountain lion or bear!”

Dib had no intention of straying too far from the counselor and her tight red swimsuit; that is, until he noticed Zim paddling in the opposite direction of the rest of the group, his sharp jaw set tightly. Dib hesitated, torn between staying and watching the counselor or going after Zim. Eventually, his suspicion of the alien won over, and he turned his board in Zim’s direction, following along at a steady pace.

It did not take Zim long to notice he was being followed. “What do you want, Dib-worm?” He snapped, glaring over his shoulder. “Why don’t you join the rest of your filthy compatriots in ogling the disgusting counselor woman?”

Dib sneered. “Nice try, Zim. You’re not sneaking away that easily. I know exactly what you’re up to.”

“Really?” Zim said, bemused. “What exactly am I up to?”

“Well…” Dib paused. “...I don’t know. But I bet you’re off to contact your alien friends in the woods or something!” 

Zim rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the water. For a few minutes the boys paddled in silence, while Dib watched the alien suspiciously out of the corner of his eye. Eventually it was Zim who broke the silence, his gaze sliding over to Dib despite his annoyance.

“How long has your sister known about me?” He said. Dib snorted.

“Uh, since the day you set foot in our school. Besides, she’s seen you without your disguise, hasn’t she?”

“I thought perhaps she didn’t think I was the same person.” Zim said, frowning. “Most people are too stupid to put two-and-two together.”

“Maybe, but Gaz isn’t stupid. How many people with green skin do you think live in our town? You’re the only one.” Dib said. Zim remained silent for a moment, his expression thoughtful.

“I don’t suppose anyone would believe her if she told.” He said eventually. “After all, she’s related to you, and no one ever believes what you say.”

Dib tried not to let his offense show on his face. “Yeah, well, I doubt she’d tell anyone anyway.” He said. “She just doesn’t seem to care enough. It’s like she doesn’t even care her own planet is in jeopardy!”

“Maybe she realizes your species deserves to be destroyed.” Zim growled, paddling faster in an effort to escape Dib.

“We do not!” Dib snapped. “What makes you think your species is so much better?”

“I didn’t say it was.” Zim said darkly. “But  _ your _ species is headed in a dangerous direction. You should be grateful the mighty  _ Zim _ is going to put a stop to it!”

“What do you mean, dangerous direction?” Dib said suspiciously, narrowing his eyes. Zim said nothing for a moment, paddling along in silence with an exasperated expression on his green, noseless face. When he spoke, his voice was steady, with a tinge of impatience, as though he were explaining something to an irrational child.

“Look around, Dib-stink.” He said, nodding at the mountains that surrounded the lake, the island of trees in the lake’s center, the calm surface of the water. The only sound was the chirping of birds and the dip and splash of their paddles. “What do you see?”

Utterly perplexed, Dib looked around at the lush green landscape, frowning. “Uh, I see trees, mountains, water… What exactly am I supposed to be seeing?”

“You see planet Earth.” Zim clarified. “The way it’s supposed to be. Now how is it different from the area you and I live?”

“Uh, it’s… quieter?” Dib pondered. “Greener? What exactly are you getting at?”

“What I’m  _ getting at  _ is that this place is one of the few places on this miserable planet that hasn’t been tainted or downright destroyed by the presence of humans.” Zim snapped. “The filthy city we live in is an example of the destruction humans cause wherever they go. It won’t be long until this entire planet is a toxic wasteland.” Zim’s voice held a faint degree of bitterness, as though he were speaking about a long held grudge. “By eradicating you disgusting humans, this planet might just have a chance at supporting some other form of life.”

“So that’s why you want to destroy humanity? To save the environment?” Dib said, unconvinced. “Yeah right. Thanks, Captain Planet, but we don’t need an alien’s help to save the Earth.”

“Could have fooled me.” Zim snarled. “Now leave me alone. You’ve wasted enough of my time.”

Zim paddled away, intent on circling the island before returning to the dock. Dib watched him go, angry and confused. Zim had changed in recent years, becoming angrier and more prone to bouts of melancholy than before. Dib wondered what could have triggered such a change. Part of him-- the curious, suspicious side-- wanted to find out what it was and bring it to light. But the other part of him got the distinct impression that it was something Dib really didn’t want to know, and wouldn’t understand if he did.

Irkens, it would seem, were very complex creatures.


	2. Two Sneaks and a Spy

_ A good friend will always stab you in the front. -Oscar Wilde _

* * *

 

It was barely dawn, the sky outside still dark. Lying in his stiff, uncomfortable bed, Dib was awakened by the creaking of the bunk above him. Feigning sleep, Dib listened as he heard someone quietly descending the ladder, and then creeping slowly across the cabin floor. The door creaked open. Dib opened his eyes just as the door clicked shut.

Zim had left.

Bolting upright, Dib slipped on his shoes and hastened to follow. Where could Zim be going so early in the morning? Perhaps his ship was parked somewhere in the woods, and the alien planned to escape. Dib stepped outside, shivering slightly in the cold, and looked around for where Zim had gone; he spotted him on the grassy slope that led to the other cabins, weaving between trees and stepping over roots. As he reached the cabins, Zim glanced over his shoulder; Dib quickly darted behind a tree to avoid being seen. He remained there, just out of sight, listening. He heard a knock, and the sound of a door opening. Then he heard footsteps in the grass, and then two quiet voices.

Dib carefully peered around the tree; Zim was standing in the shadow of the cabin, talking to someone in an urgent whisper. Dib strained to see who it was in the low light without his glasses. Dark pajamas, pale skin, brilliant violet hair-- Dib’s heart skipped a beat. It was Gaz.

Zim was talking to Gaz!

Dib’s face flushed with anger. How dare the alien speak to his little sister, and at four in the morning, too! Zim was gesturing forcefully, as he usually did, and Gaz stood still with her arms folded across her chest, her lips pinched together. Dib thought they were arguing, until Gaz tilted her head and one corner of her lips turned up-- the closest thing Gaz was capable of to a smile. Dib stared. The two spoke for a few more minutes, and then Zim nodded in a satisfied, final sort of way, and turned away. Gaz returned to her cabin, and Zim glanced over his shoulder just as the door closed behind her. The alien watched the closed door for a moment, seemingly lost in thought, then turned and set off for the boys’ cabins.

Dib ran for it. He had to make it back before Zim did. He leapt over fallen logs and ducked under low-hanging branches, racing up the his cabin and flinging open the door. He dove into his bed, kicking off his shoes in the same motion. 

Across the room, one of the other boys mumbled in his sleep.

The door opened again and Zim appeared. He closed the door quietly behind him, then went to his own bunk. Zim paused on the ladder, and turned his gaze to Dib; he watched the other boy for a moment, and Dib watched him through slitted eyes in return. Then, Zim ascended the ladder and crawled into his own bed. 

Dib released a long breath, his heart hammering against his ribs. In a way he was not surprised; Zim now knew that Gaz was aware of his true identity, and would want to ask the girl about it, but Dib never would have expected him to sneak out at the crack of dawn to talk to her in secret. Dib had expected a loud, flamboyant accusation in the middle of class, with the alien standing on a desk and shouting. When had Zim learned the art of subtlety?

Three hours later, Dib entered the mess hall and scanned the room for his sister. He spotted her sitting alone at the table at the far end of the room. The building was built like a longhouse, with a high arched ceiling with panes of glass set between the crisscrossing wooden beams. Gaz looked up as Dib sat down beside her, then returned to her Game Slave, which she had so far managed to keep hidden from the teachers. 

“Morning, Gaz.” Dib said, keeping his tone casual. “How was it in your cabin?”

“Cramped.” Gaz muttered, not taking her eyes off her game. “Six girls crammed into a ten-by-six foot cabin? That shouldn’t be allowed.”

“Yeah, no kidding. So, uh…” Dib searched for the right words. “Nothing unusual happened last night?”

Gaz glanced up at him, frowning. “No. Why?” She said suspiciously. Dib narrowed his eyes. He had not expected her to lie to him about it; usually she didn’t care enough about his reaction to try to keep things from him. Now it only served to make Dib angrier with the whole situation, and in particular, with Zim.

“I know you’re lying.” Dib said. “I saw you. You were talking to Zim at four o’clock this morning. What did he want with you? Did he hurt you?”

There was a moment’s pause, during which Gaz’s eyes slowly darkened. _“You were spying on me?”_ She hissed, with such ferocity that the students sitting at the other end of the table heard her and flinched. “What the hell is wrong with you? I swear to God, Dib, you’re dead. I’ll drown you in the lake. I’ll feed you to the _fucking_ _wolves._ ”

Dib was no longer alarmed by her threats, as he had been enduring them for years, and he was a foot taller than her. “Before you do, how about you explain to me what you were doing with that alien!” He kept his own voice low, so they wouldn’t be overheard. 

“We were  _ talking!  _ That’s not illegal, is it?” Gaz whispered furiously, her face red.

“What were you talking about? Did he threaten you to stay quiet?” Dib pressed. “Tell me what he said!”

Gaz abruptly stood up, pushing back the bench and grabbing the remains of her lunch. “I don’t have to tell you a damn thing, Dib. Now don’t talk to me for the rest of today.” She marched away, kicking open the door to the girls’ restroom and disappearing inside. Dib watched her go, more wary than ever. What was she hiding?

Across the room, the mess hall doors banged open, and Dib glanced over his shoulder to see who had entered-- only to do a double-take. It was Zim, but not like the Zim Dib was used to seeing. The alien had evidently created a change of clothes better suited for his environment **;** perhaps he was finally learning to blend in. It was not so much the change itself that shocked Dib, but what it revealed.

Zim had ditched his red armoured tunic for a fitted black tank top with a turtleneck collar, black skinny jeans, and a pair of black Converse sneakers.

Dib stared. He had never seen the alien’s bare arms before. They were long and lean like his legs, with defined muscles that rippled beneath the surface of his pale green skin. His chest and shoulders were shaped like that of a human, and yet there was something decidedly  _ alien _ about his features. He didn’t seem to have an ounce of fat on him, only hard angles and rigid lines. He had grown at least a foot and a half over the years, and his shoulders and chest were broader than his waist to such a degree that it would look odd on anyone else. But, on an alien body like Zim’s, it gave the impression of concealed strength and years of dedication. Dib was almost envious.

Then, he came to his senses.

_ Okay, how is it not totally obvious that he’s an alien? _ He thought, watching Zim take a seat at an empty table across the room.  _ No human looks so-- so-- _

The word  _ flawless _ lingered in his mind for a moment, but Dib quickly dismissed it. Zim was not ugly, it was true. His nose was flat against his face;  _ Like Voldemort, _ Dib thought. His eyes were larger and wider than a human’s, his face was slender, his neck long and thin. No, alien as he was, Zim was not difficult to look at. But Dib’s hatred and mistrust for the alien ran deeper than any attraction to him. The fact that Zim was now going behind Dib’s back and talking to Gaz only intensified this feeling, this hatred. If there was something going on between the two of them-- something that would explain Zim’s change of behavior, his change of wardrobe, Gaz’s secrecy-- Dib wanted to know about it. 

And he intended to find out using whatever means necessary.

* * *

 

Gaz did not consider herself a particularly attractive girl. She was short-- barely five feet tall-- and rather too wide in the hip, she thought. She kept her hair cut in a short bob, as she didn’t have the patience to take care of long hair. She never wore makeup. Her clothing never varied in color or style. The only jewelry Gaz ever wore was a silver skull necklace given to her by her father for her tenth birthday. There was no one she ever tried to impress; she didn’t care about the opinions or feelings of others. If they didn’t like the way she looked, they didn’t have to look at her. Gaz would prefer it that way.

So, when Gaz heard a soft knock at her cabin door just after four in the morning, Gaz did not care that she was in nothing but a tank top and her underwear. Whoever it was only had a few moments to live, anyway, before she killed them for waking her up so damn early. 

“Ugh-- who is it?” Mumbled Elizabeth, a girl with long blonde hair and brown eyes who Gaz hated with all her tiny black heart. 

“Go back to sleep.” Gaz said, rolling out of bed and approaching the door. She leaned against the wood and spoke to the person on the other side in a harsh whisper. “Who is it and what do you want?”

“It is I,  _ Zim! _ I’ve come for the Gaz-beast!” Zim at least had the presence of mind to whisper as well, but it was loud enough for Gaz to hear, and stupid enough for Elizabeth to comment on.

“Not that freak.” Elizabeth grumbled, rolling over and pulling the blanket over her head. “Gaz, go out there and see what he wants.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Gaz said, but she nevertheless opened the door and slipped outside into the dawn. She led Zim to the side of the cabin; he was shifting his weight from one foot to the other, as though he was anxious to say whatever it was he had to tell her. 

“What do you want, Zim? This better be a matter of life or death.” Gaz said, folding her arms and glaring up at him. Zim hastened to explain.

“Dib told me you know about me. About-- about who I am.” He said, scrutinizing her carefully, as though trying to determine if she could be trusted. “Is that true?”

“What are you talking about? I’ve been in your base. I’ve flown in your ship. I’ve seen you without your stupid disguise.”

“ _ Shh! _ ” Zim hushed her, glancing around anxiously. “Not so loud! I didn’t think that you-- Well, I didn’t think that you knew it was  _ me. _ The person you go to school with.” He growled and ran his fingers through his hair, an aggravated gesture. “How did you find out?”

Gaz raised an eyebrow. “How many green guys named Zim do you think there are in our town? It was pretty obvious. Plus, your disguise isn’t what I would call convincing.”

Zim reared back, offended. “What do you mean, it’s not convincing? What’s wrong with it?” 

Gaz snorted. “What’s  _ wrong _ with it? You’re green. You don’t have ears, or a nose. Your teeth are too sharp and you’ve only got three fingers. Plus, nobody dresses like that! You look like a shiny red insect.”

Zim looked down at his own clothing, his brow furrowed. “My research has shown that casual clothing is best suited for this environment.”

“That’s not casual. You’ve been wearing those same clothes for years.” Gaz paused, took in Zim’s increased height, and reconsidered. “Well, maybe not those  _ exact _ clothes. But the armour has to go.” She poked Zim in the chest, indicating his red tunic; Zim flinched, unused to her touch. “I think some Converse, maybe, and black jeans. A T-shirt, too, would go a long way--”

Zim cut her off, lifting the hem of his red tunic to reveal the skin-tight black undershirt beneath it. “Does this garment meet your specifications?”

“I guess. But the shiny pants and the boots… Can’t you just, I don’t know, make something else? With your  _ superior  _ alien technology?” The corner of her mouth turned up in a slight smile. “I personally recommend black. It looks good on everyone.”

Zim seemed to consider this, watching Gaz with narrow eyes, before he came to a decision. “Very well, Gaz-human. I shall upgrade my disguise based on your suggestions. Now, then.” He fixed Gaz with a stern look. “I would like your word that you will not tell any of the other  _ filthy _ human children about my identity.”

Gaz rolled her eyes. “Zim, it’s been years. If I wanted to tell someone that you’re not human, I would have done it already.”

Zim seemed mollified by this, and nodded his head in a final sort of way. “Good. You may return to bed.”

“Thanks for your permission.” Gaz growled, turning away. Zim turned to leave as well, marching up the grassy slope towards the woods. As Gaz closed the cabin door behind her, Zim looked over his shoulder, considering what he had learned. The Gaz-beast, it would seem, was not completely untrustworthy, as he had long suspected, especially considering she was Dib’s sister. Still, there was something about their conversation that troubled him.

_ I wonder,  _ Zim pondered, as he began the hike back to his own cabin.  _ Did she know she wasn’t wearing any pants? _


	3. In His Own Right

**Did you think I was dead?? ~~So did I~~  Anyway get ready for a whole lot of headcanons.**

* * *

 

The morning of the second day at camp, the seniors were to embark on a seven-mile hike to the roaring waterfalls that lay deep in the forest. The hike was mostly uphill, through dense old growth trees, crossing wide rivers and ancient bridges. Dib was not looking forward to the hike, a sentiment shared by just about every senior in their class-- all but one. When the camp counselor announced that students would be partnered up and begin the journey at nine o’clock sharp, Zim merely examined the tips of his black gloves and looked resolutely disinterested. His change in wardrobe had prompted much whispering and staring from the other students, but whether Zim was unaware of this or simply chose to ignore it, Dib could not tell. He only knew that when Gaz had emerged from the girls’ bathroom that morning and saw Zim in his new clothing, she met his eye with a look of cool approval and walked away. 

Dib seethed all the way to the trailhead, shooting Zim looks of utmost loathing from the corner of his eye. When Zim did take notice of Dib’s apparent antipathy, the alien merely regarded him with a blank expression, as though he had grown so used to the idea of being hated and distrusted he was no longer averse to it. His passive stance was tested, however, when the counselor told the students to each select a partner for the hike, and Dib and Zim were the only ones left unpaired.

“Membrane and Zimmerman. Team up.” The counselor said, redirecting his attention to the group at large and missing the shocked and angry looks on the faces of the two males in question. “This is a long hike, folks. You are not to be alone at any time, under any circumstances. If you split up from the main group, you have to be with your partner at all times. Understand?” The students murmured their assent, and the counselor continued. “When we reach the falls we’ll have a picnic. We’ll be at the viewpoint for about an hour and a half. We’ll all head back around 1400 hours. So,” He stepped aside and gestured to the trail entrance. “Have fun, and stick together!”

Zim and Dib simply stared at each other as the rest of the students embarked on the hike, each sizing the other up. There was much Dib wanted to say, questions he wanted answered, but before he could speak, Zim had turned and started up the trail without him. Feeling the counselor’s eyes on his back, Dib had no choice but to follow his enemy into the brush. 

 

* * *

  
  


The trail wound around the lake and then began the steep ascent up the side of the mountain, leading them through tall trees and under logs and over streams and meadows. Dib tried to enjoy himself despite the fact that the person he hated most marched along just a few feet in front of him. It was not long before Dib was sweating and out of breath, whereas Zim was unburdened, his PAK whirring as it flooded the alien’s system with hormones to increase stamina. Dib was jealous in spite of himself, for the day was heating up quickly and he had no alien technology to keep him from becoming exhausted. He wondered how Zim could tolerate such high temperatures without his PAK overheating, and before he could stop himself, he found himself asking just that.

Zim ignored him at first, as though if he waited long enough he wouldn’t have to answer. But Dib persisted.

“Are those special clothes or something? Does your PAK have an air conditioning function? Come on, I genuinely want to know.”

The rest of the group was far enough away for their conversation to go unnoticed, and so after considering the question for a few moments, Zim relented.

“Irk is a desert planet.” He said stiffly, not looking around at his companion. “Irkens evolved under such conditions. We have low body temperatures and can withstand temperatures far higher than any human could.”

Dib considered this. “So, you’re cold-blooded. That makes sense, I guess. But does that mean you can’t tolerate cold temperatures? Wouldn’t you freeze to death?” He wondered if defeating his enemy would be as simple as locking the alien in a freezer or leaving him out in a snowstorm. But Zim quickly put an end to that idea.

“When Irkens first began our campaign for universal conquest, we were outfitted with PAKs to regulate our vitals and connect us to the Control Brain.” Zim did not seem to mind sharing this information, if only to reiterate the superiority of his own species. “It allows us to survive the harsh conditions of outer space and the environments of alien planets.”

Curious, Dib pressed for more. “Okay… Fine, that’s impressive and all, but-- but--” He finally broke down and asked the question he had wanted to ask for six years. “But why conquer planets in the first place? If you evolved to live in a desert environment, why mechanize your whole species just so you could survive outside it? Why leave your home planet at all?”

Zim stopped walking, and at last turned to glare at Dib over his shoulder. Dib stopped in his tracks, but now that he had started, he could not stop the words that tumbled from his mouth.

“Is it just an egotistical thing? Just a desire to rule over other races?” He thought of his own species’ tendency to invade foreign lands and enslave its occupants. “What gives you the right to invade and colonize other planets?” 

Zim’s eyes were burning. He turned to face Dib head on, his hands curled into fists, hissing through clenched teeth. Dib took a startled step back; never before had he seen Zim look so angry.

“We have no  _ choice _ .” Zim whispered fiercely, and with that he spun on his heel and marched on up the trail, leaving Dib standing alone and wondering what Zim could have possibly meant. Certainly the decision to abandon one’s home planet was not one to be taken lightly, and Dib wondered if it  _ was _ done out of necessity, and not for selfish reasons. But Dib was not naive, and he new that any alien race that would weaponize its own people to conquer other worlds was not one that deserved much sympathy. 

Shaking his head slightly, Dib hurried after Zim, ducking under branches and leaping over roots that had grown over the path. When he at last caught up to him, the two found themselves in a large clearing on the side of the mountain, where they were afforded a stunning view of the Cascade Mountains. Everywhere they looked they saw only towering green peaks and lush valleys, the tops of each mountain covered with a dusting of late-season snow. The sky was a stunning shade of blue that reminded Dib of a bottomless lake, in which soft white clouds drifted like tufts of cotton. They took in the sight for several long moments, and then Dib turned to Zim and spoke to him in an awed voice.

“I bet you don’t have anything like  _ this _ on Irk.” He said, too amazed to feel smug.

“Can’t say we do.” Zim said, for once allowing himself to be impressed. The two stood like that a long while, each lost in his own thoughts, until enough time had passed that they would be late to arriving at the waterfalls if they didn’t get a move on. The breathtaking sight had quelled their enmity for each other, at least for the time being, and they walked side by side in silence for nearly half an hour. Eventually, the quiet of the forest was displaced by a deep roar in the distance; Zim was the first to hear it, and soon Dib could too, and after a while it had drowned out all other sound. 

“We must be getting close to the waterfall,” Dib said, but when they reached the top of the trail they saw that it was only the river-- a wide, rushing river, white with rapids, over which a narrow bridge was suspended. They would have to follow this river upstream for over a mile before they reached the falls. As they crossed the bridge, mist from the rapids dampened their clothes and chilled Dib down to his bones, the water was so cold. He glanced behind him at Zim, who seemed not in the least bit perturbed by the water that slicked his boots and nestled in his hair like dew drops. Dib took off his glasses and dried them on his jeans, and when he had replaced them on the bridge of his nose, he decided he would try another question.

“You still bathing in paste every morning?” He asked, realizing as he spoke that his voice sounded derisive, although he hadn’t intended it to be so. Zim narrowed his eyes, although it was not so much a look of contempt as of consideration. Evidently he decided that the question was not so offensive that he could reasonably ignore it, and he answered, if somewhat stiffly.

“No. Water itself isn’t the problem.” There was a hole in the bridge where one of the boards was missing, and Zim stepped neatly over it before he continued. “When water mixes with carbon dioxide in this planet’s atmosphere, it forms a chemical compound known as carbonic acid, which causes rainwater to be slightly acidic.  _ That _ is what causes my discomfort.” Zim’s expression turned dark as he met Dib’s eye. “In other words, this filthy planet is so overridden with toxic gases even the rainwater is polluted.”

“So it’s just rain that bothers you?” Dib mused, missing for the moment the implications of Zim’s words. Zim shook his head.

“Not the rain, the  _ acidity  _ of the rain.” He said, then stopped. He eyed Dib suspiciously. “Why do you ask, anyway?”

Dib didn’t really know why himself. But as long as the alien was willing to talk, Dib might as well try to find out all he could. Some of the information might be useful in vanquishing his enemy, and some of it was just plain interesting. Because he had no solid explanation, Dib decided the best course of action would be to change the subject, and quickly. 

“Do you know what the juniors were going to be doing today?” He asked, hoping to deflect any suspicion on the alien’s part. “I, er-- I didn’t get a chance to ask Gaz.” Dib watched Zim’s expression carefully; at the mention of Gaz’s name, Zim scowled, although Dib supposed this might have been due to the abrupt topic change rather than the reference to his sister. 

“I don’t know, I don’t talk to any of the juniors.” Zim said, sounding slightly irritated, as though the question were a waste of his time. “You’ll find out when we get back.”

Dib bit his lip, thinking fast. There was much he didn’t understand about Zim-- in fact, it was safe to say he understood almost  _ nothing _ about him. However, Dib was beginning to understand one thing about the alien, and that was Zim’s dislike for beating around the bush. Zim did not respond to Dib’s subtle hints or carefully phrased questions, yet when Dib asked him something outright, Zim often gave up the answers easily and without preamble. When Zim had learned that Gaz was aware of his identity, he had sought an explanation from the girl herself, in a manner that would not draw attention to either of them and thus complicate the matter further. Trying to coax a confession out of Zim by casually dropping Gaz’s name was not going to yield results. He would have to go straight to the heart of the matter, like Zim would himself.

“Look, Zim.” Dib began, steeling himself for what was to come. “I know you were talking to Gaz this morning. I saw you.”

Zim stopped walking. He turned to stare at Dib over his shoulder. Dib stood in the middle of the path, his hands clenched into fists, his eyes dark with anger. Zim’s expression, on the other hand, was unreadable as he turned to face the other boy directly, as though Dib’s accusation came as no surprise to him. 

“So?” Zim said, evidently seeing no need to deny anything. Dib spluttered furiously, momentarily taken aback.

“ _ So? _ ” He repeated, incredulous. “So,  _ what were you doing talking to my sister? _ Why were you doing it at four in the morning? And what the  _ hell _ is up with your outfit?”

Zim blinked, his expression still betraying nothing. “What’s your problem?” He said coolly, as though Dib’s anger were of no consequence to him. “I can talk to anyone I want to. Including your sister.”

“If you wanted to talk to her, you could have done it in broad daylight, in the mess hall,  or any other time!” Dib took a challenging step forward, pointing an accusing finger at ZIm’s chest. “Why’d you sneak out when everyone else was asleep?”

“Maybe it was because I anticipated a scene like this.” Zim said contemptuously, narrowing his eyes. “I only wanted to make sure she wouldn’t reveal my identity. As for my clothing, the little Gaz-girl advised me on the proper attire for humans of our age group. That is all.”

Dib did not dare believe him. “Listen, Zim,” He began in tones of quiet menace. “I don’t want you talking to her. I don’t want you anywhere  _ near _ her. She’s my little sister, and it’s  _ my _ job to protect her from anything that could hurt her-- and that includes you.”

Zim’s thin face twisted into a sneer. “How touching. I daresay your sister neither needs nor desires your protection. And really, Dib-worm, if I  _ did _ desire to harm the Gaz-human, there’s nothing you could do to stop me. However,” He held up his hand as Dib opened his mouth furiously. “At this time, I have no such desire. I can’t imagine a scenario in which I would, unless she threatened to jeopardize my mission, which I doubt she will do.”

“Yeah, I bet she won’t.” Dib snarled. “But just because  _ she’s _ content to stand by and watch you annihilate the human race, doesn’t mean I am. If I ever catch you around her again, I’ll--”

“You’ll  _ what, _ Dib?” Zim said, sounding exasperated for the first time. “You’ll tell everyone I’m an alien? You’ve already done that a thousand times. Or perhaps you’ll try to capture me and turn me in to the authorities? When has that  _ ever _ worked? You stupid little boy-- don’t you get it? There’s nothing you can do to stop me. There was never anything you could do.”

“Oh, there's not, is there?” Dib said viciously, pale with rage. “If you're so capable of destroying us all, if there's really nothing I can do to stop you from taking over the world, why haven't you  _ done  _ it yet? What are you waiting for?” He took another step forward and shouted in Zim’s face. “You know what I think? I think you  _ can't! _ You've been here for years and you've never succeeded  _ once! _ If humans are so damn stupid, it shouldn't take a genius to wipe us out!”

Dib felt a blow to his chest that knocked the air out of his lungs, and he suddenly found himself on the hard-packed ground yards away from where he had been standing. The forest above him spun. 

“Listen to me, Dib.” Zim’s voice sounded far away, echoing as if from the end of a tunnel. “I shall say this only once.” He turned Dib’s head with the toe of his shiny black boot and looked the human in the eye. “I have my reasons, and they aren’t for you to know. Your inferior little mind couldn’t understand even if I did tell you.” The boot moved to Dib’s throat and slowly pressed down. “Do not think yourself clever. You are under the impression you have me ‘figured out’. You do not. I am an Invader in my own right, Dib. I am no less dangerous than I was before.”

The boot suddenly lifted from Dib’s throat, and he wheezed, sitting upright and rubbing his neck. Zim had turned away and continued up the trail. A question burned in Dib’s mind.

“Before  _ what? _ ” He called out. Zim gave no reply.

 

* * *

  
  


His partner having abandoned him, Dib was forced to find his way to the waterfall on his own, something the teachers certainly wouldn’t be happy about if they knew. But Dib encountered no bears or cougars, nor did he fall off any cliffs. He didn’t need a partner after all.

He heard the waterfall before he saw it. He emerged from the forest canopy to see a great wall of rock over which water thundered into a deep blue pool below. Most of the class was already there, at the edge of the pool, some of them wading into the water. Mist from the falls made the air cool and damp. The rocks that surrounded the falls were green with moss. 

Zim stood away from the others, his expression dark, his gaze on the curtain of rushing water that shook the earth beneath their feet with its power. Dib watched him for a moment or two, but the falls proved more interesting, so he watched the water instead. His mind, however, was not so easily occupied. He turned the alien’s words over and over in his head, trying to decipher their meaning one by one, the way one might pick up a stone and examine its details up close; then set it down and reach for the next one, and another, and another…

_ I am an Invader in my own right. _ Had Zim not been sent to Earth specifically to invade it? How was that different than any other member of his species?

_ I am no less dangerous than I was before. _ Before what? Before  _ what? _

He was not aware of the time passing. He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to find Lilith, from his cabin, who told him it was two o’clock and they’d better head back before the teachers get suspicious. Dib was surprised to see that the other students had already gone, including Zim.

“Don’t worry, you can walk back with us.” Lilith motioned to Otto, who stood at the edge of the trees, waiting. Dib followed them down the mountain, across the bridge, and through the trees, half-listening to their conversation about books and theater and straightening irons and their least favorite teachers-- normal things. Things that did not concern aliens. Things that did not concern the fate of the human race. Dib envied them. He wished, for just one day, he could pretend he had never in his life heard of a green boy named Zim.

 


End file.
